


Even When I Can't Say 'Love Ya', I Love Ya

by jaegerjaquezoff



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Sad, Songfic, im also sad, its a letter, levi is a sad bb :(, molly by lil dicky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 12:01:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19062274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaegerjaquezoff/pseuds/jaegerjaquezoff
Summary: I am sad :(I suggest watching season 3, episode 54 'Midnight Sun' and then listening to Molly by Lil Dicky.https://open.spotify.com/track/0NBiC3zLXoBQXBjsbnbwJq?si=XnriFYZyQcObk9YY-KoODw





	Even When I Can't Say 'Love Ya', I Love Ya

**Author's Note:**

> I am sad :(  
> I suggest watching season 3, episode 54 'Midnight Sun' and then listening to Molly by Lil Dicky.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/track/0NBiC3zLXoBQXBjsbnbwJq?si=XnriFYZyQcObk9YY-KoODw

My Dearest,  
Hange is making me write this.  
She says it’ll make things easier.  
We’ll see. I hope so.

It’s been two weeks since that day.  
And I still can’t get myself together.  
I’m hung up on this, and on you.  
I’m not sure how to function without you.

I wish that I could have stopped you.  
I should have stopped you.  
I hate that I couldn’t stop you.  
I didn’t know how.  
I really should have broken your legs.  
But, this was what you wanted.  
You wanted to make it to the basement.  
‘Or die trying’ as you always said.

I’ve continued everything as I should.  
But, I’m still stuck feel stuck there.  
In that moment I let you go.  
It’s the one thing I regret.  
But I knew it would be best for you.  
I could never have made you suffer still.

You were an exemplary Commander.  
You never thought so, but everyone else did.  
I thought so.  
You were so smart and strong and you cared about your soldiers.  
You were also the perfect husband. Or would have been.

Did I do the right thing?  
Was letting you go truly the best choice?  
Regardless, it’s done.  
And here I am. Alive, but alone.  
But I can’t come to you yet.  
I’m going to reach your dream.  
I’m going to lead humanity to freedom.  
I made it to the basement. And now I’m going to make it beyond.  
For you. So wait for me.

 

There’s no one to call me out on my shit.  
No one to make me get in bed in the middle of the night.  
No one to hold me. No one to love me.

And I have no one to clean behind.  
No one to watch.  
No one to hold. No one to love.

I keep recalling moments from the past.  
When things were better.  
I want read with you again.  
Write for you again.  
Sleep with you again.  
But of course, things can never stay good.

Every day I start to follow our routine.  
Wake myself up. Prepare tea.  
But there’s no more waking you up.  
Get myself ready for the day.  
But there’s no more helping you dress.  
Fight. But there’s no more you to fight for.

No one will ever love me like you did.  
No one will ever know me like you did.  
You held me together.  
You were my everything.  
I will love you everyday until I can’t.  
I will be yours forever.

I’ve chosen your path as my own.  
It should be our path. But here we are.  
Better yet, here I am.  
You are peace now, without me.  
I will work toward peace soon, for you.  
I failed you once. But I won’t allow it again.

I could easily let this life go.  
I could come to you.  
I could have you.  
Forever.  
I failed you once. But I won’t allow it again.

Until we meet again, Erwin Smith.  
Levi Ackerman x


End file.
